BEST FROSTING EVER. EVER. (For cakes) EVER

Side by side view of the miracle frosting at work.

I should not have been frosting that cake at three in the morning. Maybe them it would have taken me less than 10 minutes to realize that I didn't really need to go to the store for orange, 'cuz I had yellow and red and mixing the two would give me orange. Sorry people, I'm a leettle slow.

Red frosting. Chiltons is the best, they have stuff that is thicker than the liquid food coloring you can buy at the grogery store-and remember, a little bit goes a long way! Except for the red-that took two bottles.

Big mess.

Finished product. Actually tasted good. People said so. And they consumed it.

Ingredients

8 egg whites

13 ounces (by weight!) of sugar (regular, NOT powdered)

1 pound of butter at room temp

1/4 cup margerine at room temp

1 teaspoon vanilla

food coloring as needed

Procedures

1. Take, 8 egg whites and 13 ounces (by weight-I know, you need a scale, this would be the excuse you need to get one) and place in a double boiler.

2. Heat and stir constantly until mixture reaches 140 degrees.

3. Transfer to a stand mixer and mix until you get stiff peaks (I used a hand mixer-took for-ever) and mixture reaches room temprature.

* If the mixure is still too warm, and you are using a stand mixer, use ice on the side of the bowl to cool the stuff off-if using a hand mixer, like I was, place the bowl with the frosting in a bigger bowl with a little bit of water and ice. As you mix with your hand mixer, let go of the bowl and it will spin in the ice water and cool itself right down.

4. have 1 pound of butter and 1/4 cup of margarine at room temprature ready. As you are mixing your high stiff peaks, slowly add the butter/margerine, and 1 teaspoon of vanilla. If it is still too runny, it is still too warm.

5. As you finish adding the fat, the mixture will stiffen up and look just like frosting. At this point, it is ready for use.

Sweet Cilantro Rice

the pictures are out of order because the internet stinks, but we can work through this together. this picture is of the finished product, which i remembered to photograph before i devoured it all.

ingrediants:

one bunch of fresh cilantro, chopped (minus the stems)

one half of an onion, chopped

olive oil or butter, for sautee purposes

1/3 cup sugar

1 1/2 cups of chicken broth

1 1/3 cups rice

procedure:

1. heat rice pot to medium and sautee onion with olive oil or butter until onions are opaque

2. add chopped cilantro, for a minute or so

3. add rice and sautee for 3-5 minutes

4. add chicken broth and sugar

5. bring to a boil, cover and simmer for 20 minutes

6. enjoy the best sweet rice ever!

everything is done in thirds of a cup, except for the chicken broth. lately i've been adding an extra third cup of rice and 2 cans of chicken broth, because 1 1/2 cups of chicken broth leaves my with half a can of broth. i should probably increase the sugar, too.

rice and sugar. pure magic!

Pulled Pork....Low and Slow

First of all, let's get one thing straight-the word ‘barbeque’ is a highly stylized way of cooking meats that involves lots of time. Getting together with your friends for hot dogs and hamburgers is not a ‘barbeque.’ You can call your social gathering a number of things, such as a ‘cook-out,’ a ‘get-together-to-grill-shindig,’ or a wienie roast, but please people, for the love of slow-cooked meats-DON’T CALL IT A BARBEQUE!!!
Ok, now that I’ve removed that heavy burden from deep with in my Texan soul that I had no idea I possessed, and we are all still friends, let's talk about pulled pork.
This ‘recipe’ is really so easy and can be used in so many ways, once you try it, you’ll wonder why you’ve never done this before. The pictures are a little bit out of order, but we’ll get through this together.

The first step is to prepare the meat. I like to use pork butt or pork shoulder, (I think they may actually be the same thing), but this would probably work with beef as well. I prepare the meat by cutting off some of the fat. A majority of the fat will be marbled and difficult to remove completely, but there will usually be a large chunk of fat that should be easily removed with a sharp kitchen knife. Then you place the chunk’o’beast in a a bowl or anywhere that you will be able to work the meat to add the spices. If you are really good , you might complete this step the day before to give your spices a chance to work their way deeper into the meat. Spice rub- I like to use whatever is at hand. Today it was dried crushed thyme, kosher salt, fresh-ground black pepper, and garlic powder, but really, this is the place to experiment and try new things. Once you have thoroughly covered your meat with the spice rub and are ready for the sear, you will need to sprinkle some oil onto the meat, preferably an oil with a high smoke point, like grapeseed or pecan oil (olive oil will do just fine). You need just enough to get a sizzle on your pan when the meat hits the heat.

Speaking of your pan, cast iron is my personal favorite for searing meats. When you are searing something like a roast, cast iron does not lose heat like other pans might, and the more you cook on your cast iron pan, the better it will make your food taste. Anyways, when you are ready to seal the flavor in the meat by searing it, you should have your pan ready. I like to go at least at medium heat to ensure a quick sear of the meat.

Some prefer a dry roast, which involves placing the dry roast in an oven for long periods of time at very low temperatures, like 200 F for 24 hours. That requires way more skill than I have. In addition, you run the risk of drying out your meat, and let's face the facts, nobody likes dry meat. I place my seared roast (which I roasted on as many sides as possible to a slight ‘char’ as is well documented in the pictures) in a crock pot, add tons of pepper (see 1st picture above) and lots of garlic. I like to use chicken broth, but I usually add water afterwards because straight chicken broth would be waaaaaaay too salty. I like to fill my crock pot with as much water as it will hold, so I start with adding two cans of chicken broth and, once the meat is in, fill the crock pot to the brim with water. Remember, the secret definition of ‘barbeque’ is ‘low and slow’ so the longer you are able to cook this-the better. Having a party on Saturday? Start the roast cooking on Friday morning and let it cook on low till the party. Once you have cooked the pork to your level of satisfaction, drain the water, remove the bone, and mash-up the remaining cloves of garlic (I am indebted to my wife for this little garlic scene, she added this step and my what a difference it makes). Then, using two forks, tear that pork apart. It will be juicy like you would not believe and soooooooooo soft. At this point you will really be able to tell what spices you used, and you will be able to add you favorite barbeque sauce to taste. My current kick is Sweet Baby Rays. The results are incredible, and the sandwiches you can make are out-of-this world. I’d have some pictures……but we ate it all too soon. Enjoy! And remember kids,.....low and slow saves the day.